Dear November,

I'd like to offer you the chance to not exist this year. If you could talk to October and move Halloween up a few days, give a quick 'hey' to those November Birthdays, then come over and leave Thanksgiving on my doorstep, that'd be great. No, it's not you, it's just that I fancy December a bit more than I fancy your turkey and gravy.

Why?

Because I'm ready.

I'm ready for my iTunes and all the Christian radio stations to start playing Christmas music all day every day for the next month and a half: Mariah Carey only wanting You for Christmas, N*SYNC spreading joy in the room from the floor to the ceiling, and all of us as one coming and adoring Him, on Holy and Silent Nights.

I'm ready for cool rain that transforms my apartment from tiny to cozy. Rain that nips at my heels like grade-school friends running after me, my breath quickening as I pursue 'base', the place where they can't 'tag-you're-it' me and I'm safe.

I'm ready for the stress of the city to lift and dissipate right along with the muggy heat and cool air tickle it's way all throughout body, heart and mind. People trading skepticism for kindness when they look at my friends on the side of the street, houseless, maybe even taking time to see into their eyes.

You understand, right?

I want the green and reds to bright up the night, Surf-Shorts-Santa sitting with his Mrs. outside The Hale, shooting a jolly shaka to all us wide-eyed, acting like we haven't seen them every Christmas of our lives.

And as much as I didn't want The Carpenters Christmas album played in my Dad's house as we hoisted up the Christmas Tree (that we listened to every Christmas long before I came to be), I don't ever see how'd I'd have Christmas without them calling me Darling and wishing me Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I'm ready for the Fire Station to put the wire Christmas lights back up at that park, so when I go up there to sing to Jesus it won't be so dark.

I want my friends and family back home so we can be together again, having memories meet us on those nights that know no end.

Please consider this, a personal gift. You ain't gotta tell nobody, it's a secret, you and me. In fact, just take your month off. Go get at those other worlds and show 'em some good November time.

Sincerely, Elise



P.S.--If you could talk to June, July and August and have 'em drop off some mangoes, you'll have my heart forever. Thanks, friend.

That Blue

"It's Blue!"

"What's blue?"

"The ocean. I didn't know it was actually That Blue."

That Blue.

That Blue that makes it look like you can stick your big Bubble-Tea sized straw into and drink in the Vanilla Blue Slush Puppie flavor that it looks like it holds.

Not bluesy-blue but calmy-blue.

That Blue that makes you wonder just how far you'd have to swim to touch a finger to the bottom.

That Beautiful Blue.

Without even feeling the cool of your water, you

inhabit my very breath

saturating it the way the salt saturates your

Beautiful Blue-ness

giving air salty blue breathy texture

I forget I'm a body of mostly water

until I'm in your body of water

not realizing how much I've been holding onto

until you lap up against my stresses and they let go

I forget how loud it is out here

until I dive under and let your silent peace still my mind

Not wanting to ever leave

cuz it's the most sane I've felt in a long time

They can think I fight for nothing

But That Blue

reminds me of You

and that I do

stand for everything that is good

Anchored

It used to just be a flame that flared up the blew away

but now it's an anchor

My passion

is an anchor

rather than something that I feel for a little bit then fizzles out

No, it's anchored now, in my soul

I don't just feel it, I know

I know that You want me to Go

Not right now, but someday

Fa' sho

So I'm not anxious any...mo'

Cuz ho, Imma GO!

The Wise

082209

Don't talk back to your mom or grandmother
cuz there's a fact that she'll never use against you
even though she could:

She wiped your ass when no one else would.

We see them struggling with turning on TVs and DVD Players and we laugh
well that's cuz back then they didn't need those things we now see as necessities
If they were bored
they got off of their butts and did something about it
in fact, they didn't even have time to be bored
cuz they worked hard
the lives we live now are built on their backs
the backs of plantation workers, busboys, janitors, waiters, housekeepers, and babysitters
but we still whine
we sit and cry
when we're told we have to walk to school today
or catch TheBus
TheBus. God forbid! Not TheBus!!
Riding publicly? With all those...people??
Shut your well-fed mouth.
TheBus took your grandmother to Chinatown everyday
so you could eat
survive
live
and learn
so you could have your turn and take your place in this world
hopefully a better place than hers

"Go be pharmacy. Good money. Air conditioned."
That's what my Yin Yin says to me all the time
because she doesn't want my body to break
like hers had to sometimes

If only we stopped to look at the forever that's been worked into their eyes
we'd see we don't know so much about life as we thought we did
cuz our lives right now ain't nothing like when they were kids

so why don't we stop pointing and laughing
and acknowledge that they
they are the ones who hold more wisdom
than we can find through any of these people we glue our eyes to through our TVs
Wisdom is written into every wrinkle on their skin
every piece of knowledge they have
is drawn up out of their minds
and colors their hair gray, saying, "Hey, come, listen. There is something here to be shared."

They are The Wise
and we're not meant to just feed off the food they cook
but their wrinkles, their gray hairs, and their eyes

Jeremy and Joe

Jeremy Camp asked me tonight:

"Would you take the place of this Man? Would you take the nails from His hands?"

Each one of his strums pressed the questions deeper into my mind

My reply?

No.

And it's because of a man I met once

A man named Joe.

We sat with Joe on a cold day

on cold hard stone steps

that contrasted the softness of his heart

his heart that was broken and beaten

and on the verge of bleeding

knowing that it needs healing

but not asking for it cuz he'd feel he's wasting his breath

when all he feels he can ask for is a good death

He spoke his thoughts in few words

words as heavy as all the tears he's never cried

They all sunk into my pores

saturating me with his Joe-brokenness

that I was willing to carry even if just for that moment

so that he could feel light in what he shared

knowing that somebody cared

He got up and left

leaving me with a piece of his heavy heart

that weighed soundly on my shoulders, back and chest

My friends cried the tears I couldn't seem to find

and I wondered how he's been living his life

with all of what I was feeling kept inside

Joe, I thought, Please know, you're not alone

Joe please know I'll remember your life the rest of mine

Please see the tears they cry

that neither you nor I can seem to find

and I hope you can look the sky one morning

and know that a good death has already taken place

so that you can have a full life

What I experienced for one

This Man experienced for millions

in one day

I honestly wonder how He didn't go insane

so No, I wouldn't take His place or His nails

but I'll take the rest prevailed in His death

and I hope you do the same