Thank You for the Moon

Out of all the billions of stars
you made one moon
and for that, God, I thank you
cuz I can come to the end of my day
with the tired look I have in my eyes
and write a hello into it's craters
so when they search the sky
their eyes can meet where mine have been
and we'd have been together

even if it's just in
the moonshine

Too Many Words

There's too many words in my head
most of the time
I can't tell which ones should and should not be said
As soon as I feel I got a handle on it
like I finally know what to do in order not to screw with you anymore
I blow it
We both
know it
It takes me only seconds to realize I should have kept my mouth shut and those words inside
put my knowledge aside
and trust only His
TRUST only His
I think that's what the problem is
I lack the surrender and trust I must have so I'm not back here
eight nine ten times a year
kicking my own ass about what appeared to be the right thing to do
but wasn't
I speak too many words
lacking the action to back up what I really know inside:
I love you
In the end, that's the message I'm ultimately trying to send
but it gets bent outta shape when I try to do it
by myself
I can't do SHIT
by myself
It don't help no one EVER
Never have I genuinely stepped in and helped someone without Jesus
I get it now
And I can tell you imma do my best to not mess up again as your friend
all the words I have for you now
are I'm Sorry.

Call It What You Want

I wish
I wish that this time around I could remember what to do
I wish there was some answer somewhere I left it but forgot
like maybe the back of my freezer
shake it off, microwave it and begin cooking again
Begin eating
living again

But I'm sick of my freezer
the ice burns my skin
I need something real to meet me
Something
SomeOne
to reach me

Only thing is, I'm to scared to look it in the eye
cuz tell me why
Why should I try if imma mess up?
Why should I be like a dog that eats, throws up, then goes back to that same food
to do what it did in the first place that leads to the same result?
No way I'm over it
I'm over hope that makes me feel like I can do better
and be better one day
when nothing ever seems to happen that way
I don't know how to never look back
I don't know what it is to lack nothing and be completely broken
and complete
at the same time
I can't bring myself to just try
cuz this spin cycle is stuck on repeat
I'm washing away

So unless you got something new
up your invisible sleeves that I could never see
but acted like I could cuz you were someone personable to me
I don't know how to move again

I don't want to move again
unless there's actual hope
that I'll never have to be here ever again