Too Many Words

There's too many words in my head
most of the time
I can't tell which ones should and should not be said
As soon as I feel I got a handle on it
like I finally know what to do in order not to screw with you anymore
I blow it
We both
know it
It takes me only seconds to realize I should have kept my mouth shut and those words inside
put my knowledge aside
and trust only His
TRUST only His
I think that's what the problem is
I lack the surrender and trust I must have so I'm not back here
eight nine ten times a year
kicking my own ass about what appeared to be the right thing to do
but wasn't
I speak too many words
lacking the action to back up what I really know inside:
I love you
In the end, that's the message I'm ultimately trying to send
but it gets bent outta shape when I try to do it
by myself
I can't do SHIT
by myself
It don't help no one EVER
Never have I genuinely stepped in and helped someone without Jesus
I get it now
And I can tell you imma do my best to not mess up again as your friend
all the words I have for you now
are I'm Sorry.