061009

No.

I won't.

I won't say it.

Why should I say it?

What does it matter if I say it?

It doesn't change anything.

I know I am what you say I am

because you are Truth

my Truth

the only Truth I have to hold onto right now

and your Truth is absolute, but

No.

I won't say it.

Why should I say it?

What does it matter if I say it?

It doesn't change anything

I know I am what you say I am

because you are Truth

my Truth

the only Truth I have to hold onto

and your Truth is absolute

and I know

I know

I know I can trust it

You're telling me to trust it

and I want to

but it doesn't make sense.

No. I won't say it.

No!

I won't say it!

Why should I say it!

What does it matter if I say it!

It doesn't change ANYTHING

NOTHING CHANGES THIS

NOTHING CHANGES WHAT I DID

It's too big. Too big for you to erase.

You don't want to erase this

You don't want this to break your heart

You don't

YOU DON'T WANT THIS

I DON'T WANT YOU TO TAKE IT AWAY

LEAVE me here.

Leave.

You are too good to be in this mess with me

This dirty, filthy, double-minded, heart-breaking mess with me

You deserve so much more

than I can even begin to muster up with my hands

But YOU

YOU want me to say it

You want me to trust your words

to trust your Love that I refuse to feel

trust the authority you have

over my life

You want me to say that I..

I..

I'm..

Redeemed.

Forgiven.

From the moment my heart turned to you

in it's shattered pieces

and I cried that I was sorry

That I just wanted you

Just you

You just

took me in

took my sin

as I hid

and still hide

in the shadow your wings provide

and you whisper Life

into me

Breathe out into my body

as I take in fresh air

my whole being shaking

rejecting it

because I still think with Satan's pretenses

that I

am not able

to Live again

But you

You just

keep

breathing Life

in my hiding place

as I cry to you

You, never leaving my side

keeping both your eyes set on mine

to make sure I see

the fire that burns for me

the only reason I'm staying

is because You say

I belong here

I'm redeemed

I'm forgiven

I belong here

I don't feel it yet

but I'll say it

because I hear it from You

I'm redeemed

I'm forgiven

I belong here

I'm redeemed

I'm forgiven

I belong here

I'm redeemed

I'm forgiven

I belong

Here.